Working With My Brain, Not Against It
The ADHD Modes Model
I Thought Something Was Wrong With Me
For most of my life, I thought I was unreliable.
Not lazy.
Not incapable.
Just… inconsistent.
I could build something impressive in a burst, then disappear from it for weeks. I’d feel electric one day, foggy the next. Projects would stall. Drafts would sit. Ideas would circle back months later like nothing had happened.
Every productivity system I tried told me the same story:
If you were disciplined enough, this wouldn’t happen.
But ADHD doesn’t run on that operating system.
Chaos: When the system doesn’t match the mind
Most productivity culture treats the mind like a machine — steady, predictable, obedient.
ADHD doesn’t work that way.
My friends and family have seen this pattern in me for years. I almost always have multiple projects or ideas in motion at the same time. Some visible. Some half-formed. Some quietly waiting their turn.
For a long time, I beat myself up over that.
I’d get excited about a new idea — a post, a concept, a direction — and immediately feel guilty for not making progress on another one. The inner voice was relentless:
You should be working on that other thing.
Why are you chasing this shiny new idea instead?
You’re avoiding something important.
So I’d try to force myself back to the older project.
That never worked.
The longer something sat untouched, the heavier it felt. The harder it became to pick back up — not because I didn’t care, but because I couldn’t remember where I left off or how to re-enter it cleanly.
What I didn’t understand yet was this:
Some ideas need to simmer.
The Insight: My brain doesn’t quit— it changes modes
What I was calling “dormant” wasn’t dead time.
While one project sat on the shelf, my brain was quietly connecting pieces. Borrowing insights from other work. Letting the idea mature without pressure.
The movement was slower. Less visible.
But it was movement.
The real damage came from constantly interrupting myself with guilt — trying to force one mode while my brain was operating in another.
Once I noticed that, everything shifted.
I wasn’t inconsistent.
I was cycling through modes—without language for them.
Clarity: The Four Modes
ADHD doesn’t operate on a single setting.
It operates on modes.
Once you recognize them, your creative life stops feeling like failure and starts feeling like pattern.
Active Mode
This is ignition.
The lights come on. The engine roars.
Ideas connect. Execution feels frictionless.
These are the days where I can write, build, organize, and solve without effort — not because I’m disciplined, but because I’m lit up.
Active Mode can’t be forced.
It can only be recognized and used well.
Passive Mode
Nothing looks like progress from the outside.
But the project hasn’t left the building.
This is where ideas drift in the shower, on walks, while driving. My subconscious turns things over quietly, assembling solutions in the background.
Some of my clearest insights arrive when I’m not “working” at all.
Dormant Mode
This is where guilt usually shows up.
The project isn’t active.
It isn’t simmering.
It’s parked.
Not dead.
Not abandoned.
Just waiting.
Dormant Mode protects future momentum by not burning out present energy.
Dormant isn’t failure.
Dormant is deferred with dignity.
Protected Mode
This is the one productivity culture never understands.
Protected Mode means:
“This matters — but pushing right now would break something.”
So I don’t.
No guilt.
No shame.
No pressure.
Protected Mode is emotional safety.
It’s strategic pausing.
It’s leadership over my own energy.
The Real Shift: Learning to Work With the Mode I’m In
The hardest part wasn’t learning the modes.
It took me much longer to realize it was actually okay to let something sit.
For years, I treated every pause like avoidance and every switch like failure. If I wasn’t actively pushing a project forward, I assumed something had gone wrong.
What I eventually learned is that the real skill isn’t forcing progress — it’s paying attention to when you’ve switched modes.
Once I started noticing that, everything changed.
I could see when my brain had moved from Active to Passive.
When something had shifted into Dormant instead of disappearing.
When I needed to protect my energy instead of override it.
That awareness let me tune my work to the mode I was actually in — instead of punishing myself for not being in the one I wished I was in.
The other realization was just as important:
Multiple projects can be in motion at the same time… in different modes.
One idea might be fully active.
Another quietly simmering.
A third parked on purpose.
A fourth protected for now.
None of that means I’m scattered.
It means my mind is operating as designed.
Once I stopped demanding that every project move at the same speed, momentum returned — without force, without guilt, and without burning myself out.
The Leadership Lens
This isn’t just personal.
Leadership isn’t about forcing output.
It’s about stewarding energy — yours and others’.
Leaders who understand modes don’t burn people out. They know when to push, when to pause, and when something is dormant… not dead.
That awareness didn’t just change how I work.
It changed how I lead.
Closing: Permission instead of punishment
If you’re in Active Mode… build.
If you’re in Passive Mode… trust the simmer.
If you’re Dormant… let it rest.
If you’re Protected… protect yourself.
This model didn’t make me more disciplined.
It made me more honest.
And that honesty is what finally turned chaos into clarity.